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now armed with three books, he threw his head back in and let out a nervous laugh. it had been time since he felt it.
and now, once again, he felt power burning in his gut. the little cheerful ability to twist a part of the language the way he always wanted. to express every part of his feelings, to convey his thoughts and to hint someone in anyway he liked.
today, he relived his past experiene where he would carefully read every sentence, picking out the higher level words and jolting them down. with the understanding of each complicated word, his confidences gained, morale boasted. nothing can rival that feeling. nothing at all.
this, is what he had lust for, desired to be and is half way through being one. it's as if searching for that long lost treasure which is so much more valued that one would lose sanity, just for it.
it's like standing at the roof of the world, mount everest, looking down at the different life form on earth and feeling triumphant. the jutaposition of the two, before and after, is so much enriching that it makes one dizzy.
as he was planning to ride on the surf of energy surges, his most dreaded, detested and hateable elder sister appeared out of nowhere and grab the twelve inch screen without acknowledgement. he would have always despise that grossly fat female's lousy attitude, as if everyone owed her something. and her sly, discordful character. this time round, she claimed sarcastically that i was the one who let you use the few piece of broken metal (aka computer) upon request.
yah right! as if! it was her who wanted to log off and, he thought as he grind his teeth, i merely stopped her from switching off the metal which produces light on a screen through electrical messages. "she has the worst personality i have ever seen. dual character which kept switching. someone who thought she was always the most important one. self centred freak. and many more which will disgust everyone at sight." he declared as he continues on cursing.
"and no!" he snapped at himself. mentally kicked himself too. for letting his hatred surface at a place where he only wants to celebrates. for this very website is somewhere sacred to him that neither would he be vent his anger here. -note==> hatred and anger are two different thing although they seems interlinked-
now that his cranky mother is beside him, he had to stop all of this and go to bed.
posted @ 11:48 PM
without much expression. he finishes his routine and stared out of the window, into the cloudy night sky, which is spruced up with a waning moon. if only i had such a beautiful language ability, he ruminated.
individually, he knew that in every language, there's a secret within. if he have the capability to find it, it would his for the taking and he would be far more superior than D.T, a fun loving gemini with great language versatility.
it's now shy of the twelveth hour at night, he noticed. still suffering form insomnia, he had no choice but to turn to his pathetic twelve inch monitor screen. many reasons may have caused him his dreams, but there's a particular one which is overwhelmingly perturbing. one which have him immensed in his emotional waters time and time again. articulating his thoughts no more, he languidly climbed into bed, waiting for siesta to rule over him for the rest of the night till dawn...
posted @ 11:47 PM
finally man, i thought. now that i have started the engine, it's much easier to concentrate. o levels, how many days? like 6 days more.
oh man, cursing under his breathe, panic crawled through him as he frantically grabs a book. mouth dry and throat raw. he reads on with no hesitation.
this is the story of a stupid boy. and he's feeling a bit ill right now. or should i say. i don't feel right. another word to take weird. let it be uncanny or peculiar. uncanny isn't it? i met someone named donut. made me think of shyan. i miss her man. i also miss sheila, natasha and sarah. hai hai...
posted @ 7:23 PM
hai hai, my blog has really got something wrong and it stinks. d*mn it!
posted @ 11:51 PM
oh... this hurts. from 9 till now i'm having a headache. an throbbingly spliting one. if it isn't for the medicated oil, i think i'll be on my bed, head spinning.
oh, it's relapsing again...
hai hai, saw sheila on net and she's like in sort of trouble. hope i can be some help to her in someway.
for, to me, the important thing is for my friends around me to be happy. that me. and that all i want to be.
bring happiness to people around me... bleahz
posted @ 11:21 PM
oh man. my blog got error. any can help? i'm like so frantic over it. argh!!!
oh my god, what am i got to do...
posted @ 6:24 PM
whoa man, i just found a great midi file for my blog. ~hear~
nice isn't is.
i also found a few more nice ones. something like torment of soul is also quite ok. yeah man. groovy!
hehe.
now alone at home, and somehow, i think of the exams. they are so near and yet i can't cultivate the mood to study. oh sharks.
recently, there's too much happenings that are far to affecting, giving me no mood to study. hai hai -sigh-
oh, CHICKEN NANA! -frustration fills-
i was blogging when the template thing disappeared. it's so GREAT. i have spent do know how many hours to piece it together. and now...
good thing i got back up. but the status bar...
hai hai -sighs again-
posted @ 4:36 PM
it's so boring in here.
my circle is too small that now me dont know how to socialise with people.
went irc. sooner or late, i'm going to deem it as a boring place. haha. only have my passiveness to blame lah.
somehow, i looked at other people's blog design, [i would prefer not to see the entries, becoz it's me] i would feel my blog inferior to their's. somehow, i really hate myself for being so habitual. just want to be different...
posted @ 12:56 PM
today's somehow a bit unproductive. didn't study much.
went out with joey. and we both biao girls together. but today like orchard didn't have much gorgoeous girls. dont know leh, i feel like knowing more girls but i don't want to go into relationship.
i think i'm going to be like joey.
just now when i'm at town, i went to cathay. part of me wanted very much to see if the crk is there. but, as always, i keep my eyes to myself. didn't see anything. vision is blurred and can't see nothing. [ok, i admire it, so how i wished everything could be it used to be when i first got to know the crk(juli lah)] somehow i longingly yearned for her company. now that she had left without a word, i have nothing to say.
at the bus stop waiting, the sky had herself darken and the clouds threaten to rlease it's burden. somehow, this type of weather affects my mood each time. the separate rumbling from the clouds seems to be somehow like a call. a call out to me. don't know what it's calling out to me for. maybe it's my time. [i wish i can give part of my life to that friend.(you all don't know want lah)]
posted @ 7:10 PM
no new...
hai hai, anyway, i remembered someone said i talk weird. do i?
i think there's music. just trying out, hang on a bit
posted @ 11:28 AM
and no, i'm not going to show hatred in my blog. wont talk about it.
today, for the first time in life, i prayed to that someone up there. though i used to challenge him, but for now, i would wish he live up to his/her name.
just then, i got to know how vulnerable life is. i think i finally get to know fully how hibiki felt then.
for now, though i don't know what's bugging her, but i would give her all the blessings. blessed be, little girl, blessed be.
posted @ 11:17 PM
i'm almost done with the blog upgrading. just need to wait a day more and the music thing will be up.
posted @ 7:31 PM
Can't hang around for too long. got to study.
But just to let you know, i'm now on broadband, so i will try to blog each day.
You know, i would really like to leave this reality and into her's (yuna).
It all seems to be so great over there.
And i would visualise her (yuna) and me sharing everything we have. troubles and joys.
posted @ 6:35 PM
Nothing much, just a new blog.
The skin is nice somehow i like it. Or should i say her (yuna).
posted @ 5:45 PM
