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they started on weights training today. never really liked doing weights though.
sian ah!! tommorrow have a 3½ hour pw lecture none stop..
really hitting the lows these few days.. dont know what you call it. bored or whatever. i just lose interest in things..
maybe it the effect of the anime, lain...
posted @ 9:11 PM
still got that drifting feeling, the feeling you get when you get on a kayak on a rough sea. can like sway from side to side together with the feeling. stupid and dizzy.
today rained whole day. at least until the course is over. all the way through paddling in the sea and during breaks, i'm like soaked to the bone. even when we stopped over at mac, the chilly wind persist. like freaking cold can..
posted @ 10:12 PM
behind big splash was a beach club. and when i was leaving, [it's beside the toilet]they're like opening for the night. oh man. i really miss night life.. miss the feeling it gave, the sensation produce by both alcohol and club's deafening music.
miss it! miss it! miss it!
MISS IT!
posted @ 10:34 PM
had kayaking one star course today at paddle culture, east coast.
the kayak they use (cyclone) is very different from k1 and t1 you get to see at canoeing.
it has great manoeuvrability. just a slight thrust on the paddle and some waist strength can get you slicing through the water surface.
learnt back + front sweep, J draw, classic draw, capsize rescue and all.
even had quite a few capsize drill.
really liked the cyclone. so nice to use. so easy to go wherever i want. unlike that of t1.
yeah!! tommorrow using sea kayak to row from paddle culture there to mac. then go there eat. food! food! food! just love eating..
posted @ 10:21 PM
today's GP very difficult. essay wrote out of point and i dont comprehend the comprehension. ironic but true.
my stomach seems to be bugging me again.
today saw alot of ij girls in town. was on the bus though.
found myself wishing real hard that i would happen to see denyse.. i didnt.
dont know lah.
posted @ 2:35 PM
wondering if i should keep my hair short. remember how i used to vent my feeling on hair and got myself blad twice..
hai, it the other way round now. i'm keeping it long to remind myself..
posted @ 2:31 PM
bought [serial experimental lain] on sunday. watched three episode so far. all three are twisted and bloody. with sucidies and sadist killing.. and i.. have no feeling against it. as though it's very usual..
am addicted to it. guess what the teenager was right. it brainwashes people, psycho them and change them..
have been having violent visualizations and strong urges to do what it says.. as though again, the bloodlust is awakened...
posted @ 6:28 PM
i sigh, people say i'm fake. fake.. as though i'm trying to gain attention, gain sympathy.
is that the me i am?
if that the feeling i give, should i change?
what is the real me then?
posted @ 10:41 PM
having gastric or something like that. it just hurt..
posted @ 8:02 PM
read an article on alcohol.. made me think bout denyse
it seems that in school, no matter how hard i try to push the feeling away, when i'm back home, it all came back crashing..
wonder if denyse's feeling well..
posted @ 9:46 PM
just then chris messaged me asking of how i am with denyse. it made me stone.. and i'm still..
she didnt reply. heard she's at tiong today wearing tube..
... ... ...
seems she no longer gives a damn bout me..
posted @ 9:03 PM
did something stupid this morning. costed me to have a bloody wound which stretches from a little below knee cap to a little above ankle on my right leg.
it like bleed and bleed and bleed. the feeling's nice thought, especially when the endorphins masking effect comes in. other than that, i'm just relishing the pain..
reminds me of how it felt to self-mutilate.
this morning in school before i flew off to canoeing, there're like performance at the outdoor stage with loud music. then they're like dancing and all. it really reminded me of monks. really feel like going. should have went yesterday with meishan. miss the feeling there. where you lose yourself and feel no more..
posted @ 8:54 PM
each time it's like this..when it hits me, i'd just feel like drinking..
you know, in lain, there's a machinelike substance[drug] called accela. it causes the body and brain to feel extremely simulated as though accelerating, temporary deleting the sense of time..
somehow, if accela really existed, i'd like to try it.. at least to lessen what i feel and get away from here, this world..
posted @ 9:42 PM
guess i'm not switching blog. having two blogs instead. each on different mood..
posted @ 9:30 PM
i'm changing my blog add.
www.bleedingsensation.blogspot.com
changes. what does it mean? only those who knew me well would see..
posted @ 7:35 PM
didnt know what to write..
or what to say.
only that i'm sorry..
posted @ 6:57 PM
brought an e33 to school, didnt drink it there though.
feel like drinking now...
posted @ 8:39 PM
just then tried buying drinks.. felt like drinking. but not successful. coz was in school uniform.
all the things seems to be coming down crashing on me..
posted @ 7:28 PM
alcohol, chemical's struture is somewhat similiar to that of glucose.
it's what that your body burns on when you have an intake of it.
food consumed after that would ALL be converted to fats.
why is it that this liquid has the ability to intoxicate one's mind?.. and let it seems as though the pain's lessen?
posted @ 10:56 PM
